My life has gotten so much better. Please remain hopeful

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2021.09.19 09:11 sakura-strike My life has gotten so much better. Please remain hopeful

Some time ago, I was in utter despair due to my relationship with my ex-partneFP. You can still see the posts I made about it during breakdowns.
I remember that was the worst I had ever felt. I was living in such a constant state of anxiety, rage and sadness. For months. Was in a specific relationship situation that really wasn't good for me. My FP wasn't abusive, but frankly, they were very neglectful, and had an FP themselves which wasn't me and lead to things getting VERY messy, as I'm sure you can imagine. They would go days without speaking to me and proclaim on their social media private accounts how their FP was their life and they adored them and didn't care about anyone else. I think you get how horrible that felt just from that.
I was doing so bad. I was constantly scared that they hated me, wanted to end things with me, loved their FP more than me, that I would never be good enough and I was nothing compared to that person they loved so much.
And I loved them so much, but reached a point where I couldn't do it anymore. I remember it was the most anxious day of my life. I spent the entire day with my heart nearly beating out of my chest and holding back tears because I KNEW what I had to do once I got home. I tried waiting for them to take a nap like they usually do so I could send the text (we were long distance) but they didn't do that. Had to go on YouTube and follow along to some dumb meditation hypnosis video to help cut toxic people off, at least I thought it was dumb but it actually helped me push through. I wrote the message then on a document.
I eventually sent the text (only with the help of a friend) and it was terrifying. I wasn't even feeling anything, I just felt numb and my entire body throbbed, and my face was so red and I was sweating. Luckily they were nice about it, but at the time that just made me feel worse. I fell into a depression. Suddenly my world felt grey and lonely and lacking and cold. The Earth just stopped spinning and time wasn't moving anymore. My heart was so broken that it physically burned, and it was real pain. So painful.
But eventually, I realized how bad they really were for me. Another friend of mine who was also dating them (They were poly amorous, please no hate towards polyamory in the replies.) revealed to me how unhappy he was with our ex too. That's when I realized that they were kind of a terrible person. I was finally able to get up from the heartbreak once I stopped and realized how much my life had improved, even in the state of depression. I could breathe. I wasn't in agony at every moment anymore. I wasn't worrying about what they thought of me anymore. I felt free. So free. Free like I had never felt those past months.
So enough of me rambling, now this is a message for you. I thought I would be stuck like that forever back then. I thought I was doomed to be unhappy and that it was my fault when it really wasn't. So I assure you that you won't be trapped forever.
If you're in a state similar to mine I would like you to stop and try to think about it unbiased. I know it's hard, BPD is all about bias, but really think. Are you really happy with them? How much of it is happiness and how much of it is pain? Does the good really outweigh the bad? Is it really worth it? I used to think I was splitting negatively on them when those moments were actually me realizing the truth and being outraged, then once they gave me attention, I would split POSITIVELY. That might be happening to you. Please try and consider what's real and what's fake and what's truly worth keeping. Because none of you deserve to be in a relationship where you're so unhappy. You don't have to listen to me but please consider.
I thought things would never get better but after digging up for so long, being drowned by the dirt, I finally dug up the ground and took the first breath of fresh air in months. I believe you can do that too. Please hang in there because you won't be stuck like this forever. I promise.
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2021.09.19 09:11 muppetmeister220 Which one to choose

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2021.09.19 09:11 Steve35117 Ronsip❤

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2021.09.19 09:11 scotthilk Old RHCP Flyers / Promos / Pic from James Slovak

Old RHCP Flyers / Promos / Pic from James Slovak submitted by scotthilk to RedHotChiliPeppers [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 NoAnywhere60 Free battlefield 2042 bundle

I recently bought alienware M15 R5 and on the dell website they say you get free game with 30 series Gpu.I don’t know how to claim this free game,I’m canada based they said it’s for NA region only in terms and condition.
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2021.09.19 09:11 Joe__Kimie Idk,when I saw the word 'hyperion' it makes me think of this sub

Idk,when I saw the word 'hyperion' it makes me think of this sub submitted by Joe__Kimie to honkaiimpact3 [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 _9T- /r/SeattleWA wants you to support the illegalization of just standing around in an area. They are a far-right subreddit that needs to be shutdown.

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2021.09.19 09:11 gramz4sale Five9

Recently started a new job that uses the five9 system to make calls. We were told by sups during training that even if we mute our headset, they are able to hear us from their system. Anyone know if this is this true??
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2021.09.19 09:11 Jackhead27 Travelling through Train to get Report cards and certificates fron college?

Just graduated from Wilson's , I need to travel through train to get my report sheets, documents etc . I'm partially vaccinated Travelling through a cab is way too expensive Do they exempt students who have to get important documents or will I have to just take a cab
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2021.09.19 09:11 This_sum_one Nose picking on game cam

Nose picking on game cam submitted by This_sum_one to WatchPeopleDieInside [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 AleaSell [F] you like my pussy daddy write me i make you cum 💦

[F] you like my pussy daddy write me i make you cum 💦 submitted by AleaSell to NaturalCurves [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 hyde_christopher 3rd eye opener??

3rd eye opener?? submitted by hyde_christopher to ToolBand [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 voidwalker_ak Dank bro..

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2021.09.19 09:11 SGJN_926 [Recruiting] Unending War | Townhall 6+ | Clan Level 1 | War Farm | TAG#2LVRVC8VL

Greetings! Intrested New, active ,respectful, relaxed, donors, game spirit ,war participation members invited from Th6-10.
https://link.clashofclans.com/en?action=OpenClanProfile&tag=2LVRVC8VL
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2021.09.19 09:11 NOTtigerking Este guey 😂

Este guey 😂 submitted by NOTtigerking to LatinoPeopleTwitter [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 Longjumping-Gas-777 4th gen gg unpopular opinion about their future

(G)I-dle - honestly never saw them as a front runner soojin scandal did not help i believe they already peaked
Itzy- i was rooting for them to lead 4th gen but they are going downhill the music is not doing it anymore . We need to address jyp gg short lifespan and the new gg does not help i can’t see them improving much
Loona - they will never be famous
Everglow- they deserve to hit big but i don’t think this will happen they will disappear
Purple kiss - great music i think they will keep realeasing bops and remain underrated
Weekly -i see them in the top 5 gg this gen
Secret number - they will flop
Stayc - they are definetely going to the top. I feel like their company know what they are doing. They will be big and challenge the big 4
Aespa - We all know how big aespa future is they will be extremely successful but i can’t see them as the 4th gen gg leader probably will be second
Undebuted ggs
Ygngg- a lot of people are expecting big things from yg. I think just like yg was not able to recreate big bang success i do not think the new gg will reach black pink heights in term of success but they definitely will be a front runner of this gen
Starship new gg - i am expecting huge success in korea curious if they will be able to break into international market
Jyp new gg- they will be good i don’t think they will touch itzy debut record but they might be bigger in the long run
About Hybe - so they are 3 ggs coming from hybe one with unknow trainees from the plus global auditions ,one with sakura , chaewon and heo yunjin and the iland gg I am pretty sure one will hit it big and the others will be underwhelming or underrated
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2021.09.19 09:11 questionoftheanswer Sizce sol gerçekten sağdan beter mi?

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2021.09.19 09:11 NotReyyy Manga

Hi, does anyone know a good website to reach the manga online?
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2021.09.19 09:11 TrueFear_Nation D Knight X91 - My bathtub - Phasmophobia #Shorts 3

D Knight X91 - My bathtub - Phasmophobia #Shorts 3 submitted by TrueFear_Nation to TrueFearNation [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 Mendy135 When does the hiring process close for IB internship in summer 2022 ?

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2021.09.19 09:11 myeviloverlord Any way to artificially make RGB back lighting in obs

Since a lot of streamer use RGb light to make their background interesting
I wanted to check if I can easily make it artificially in obs,

Tried playing around with some of the in built filters for colour, but that changed the whole scenes
Could still be of use for certain parts of a stream
Red emphasised scene for angry / combat scene
Blue light for a scary dim lit or sad scene

Open to suggestions,
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2021.09.19 09:11 Effective_Article_88 Looking for a SYN X theme discord server

Hello, So im currently looking for a Synapse X Theme discord server (im banned from the main syn x server)
If you got any to share please share it with me
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2021.09.19 09:11 RestlessRoman Focus: Weekly Revival 35 is up!

Focus: Weekly Revival 35 is up! submitted by RestlessRoman to FireEmblemHeroes [link] [comments]


2021.09.19 09:11 taylorsbitch13 Broken zipper on bag?

So recently the zipper on my favorite loungefly backpack broke. Somehow the seam in which the zipper chain ends ripped, resulting in the zipper getting stuck down there and I’m assuming it fell off. My bag got stuck while it was closed so I had to somehow open it. The zipper is stuck in the pocket and I can’t get it out. Is there anyway I can fix this or is there someplace I can take the bag to get the zipper replaced and fixed?
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2021.09.19 09:11 MDPthatsMe T shirt for my daughter to wear during a school presentation

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